Men Who Spit.

I guess I understand why “men” feel the need to piss on buildings whenever the fancy strikes them, being that it’s this marking one’s territory sort of thing. But why does spitting also need to come into play with regard to the less comely and decorous habits of “men”? It’s almost as though they need that extra form of territory marking to assure themselves that somewhere down there, he has a dick (side note: “Men” who “unintentionally” spit while talking are a separate breed, and are only slightly less odious).

A necessary sign

A necessary sign

Apart from how jarring, foul and hideous witnessing the primitive practice is, it’s also quite inconsiderate to those chic mothers walking down Bedford Avenue who happen to unwittingly step upon a fresh batch of sidewalk spit. How could a “man” do that to her presumably $300 designer shoe? Moreover, how could he possess such a lack of self-respect as to make himself look no better than a jungle animal. If one really must spit, do it on the hole where your dick should be, and maybe it will crust over enough to make it look like you have one.

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