The trouble with Williamsburg’s female to “male” ratio isn’t just that it promotes trolling for pussy past 1 a.m., but also that it fosters the notion that “men” have to fuck every woman they meet. This phenomenon, presented succinctly by Dr. Melfi to Tony Soprano, is a sad elucidation of the male mind being run by an appendage that’s barely there.

A “man” who mistakenly thinks these women want to fuck him, and that he should fuck them all

I get that, with “men,” women are like cereal box prizes and they think they have to collect them all, but, ultimately, only one of the prizes is worth having–unfortunately by the time “men” have this revelation, they’ve already contracted every STD under the pubic hair (in large part thanks to the clientele that congregates at Verboten). So next time you see a group of women walking down Bedford Avenue, remind yourself to hone in on just one of them. You don’t have to fuck everyone. Freddie Mercury already did.