Short of being a sumo wrestler, there’s very little excuse for the “man” who fashions his hair into a bun–what is colloquially referred to as a “man” bun. Even though there is no such thing as a “man” bun, the Williamsburg ilk are all too fond of trying to make it real–especially as the dog days of summer approach.

Fabio didn’t put his long locks into a bun, neither should you

To begin with, a “man” should not have long enough hair to be able to even use a rubber band to put it up in. The only “man” allowed to have long hair is Jesus and Fabio, and you didn’t see them putting their hair up in buns, now did you? So take a cue from those celestial chaps and chop your bun off the way your dick long ago was.