Lana Del Rey may be a sucker for a “man” who likes his video games, but if you’re dealing with a woman who doesn’t wear New York Yankees dresses, chances are, she’s not going be to be into your obsession with an alternate reality. Considering the plethora of options in the video game world (we’ve come a long way from the simplicity of Super Mario Bros.), a “man’s” propensity for entering virtual k-holes is much higher–and causes a far greater chance for a low libido.

Women don’t expect much of “men” these days (how can they when most “men” don’t work?), but they do expect regular and zesty sex. And the “man” who plays video games full-time cannot provide that. He would, instead, prefer to engage with the women in his video game. A porn addiction would almost be more bearable because at least she can try to get involved in it. With video games, all a woman gets is ennui and carpal tunnel.