As an Italian and pizza purist, I don’t like people who fuck with the integrity of pizza. To me, they’re like George W. Bush at a Democratic convention: utterly contemptible. This is why I hate Two Boots and Hawaiian pizza. The triangled simplicity of a slice doesn’t need to be altered or tampered with in any way. Ask anyone, especially Jennifer Grey, and they’ll tell you that a revamp of something usually ends in disaster. So why should pizza be an exception to the rule?

It’s not right

This is, however, what “pizza on pizza” slice innovator Sean Berthiaume (obviously not an Italian) believes. Piling baby cheese slices on top of one giant cheese slice is not only pandering to the stoner and drunken set of Williamsburg, but it’s also a visual desecration to the innate beauty of pizza. So if you’re a “man” who finds yourself at 148 Bedford Avenue buying a late night (or worse, midday) snack to quell your lack of sobriety, may your arteries be clogged and your heartburn be ample.