I get that “men” allegedly discovered fire or whatever, but why are they always acting like they’re the end all, be all of existence? It’s almost like they assume the world couldn’t function perfectly well without their presence, regardless of what Dolce & Gabbana feels about in vitro fertilization.

Basically what “men” are thinking when they listen to you.

So try not to take offense when some overconfident, overpaid asshole in a Willamsburg bar, gym, condo or waterfront setting presumes to listen to your thoughts or ideas with a half-cocked head (and no cock to speak of), nod along as though you’re the dumbest piece of shit since William Hung and then either say something demeaning or not acknowledge anything that you’ve said at all.