Admittedly, there’s something sexy about a “man” who can cook. What’s not sexy, however, is when he tries to Mrs. Doubtfire it by passing something he didn’t really make off as his own. That’s where Blue Apron, a meal delivery service that’s bougier than Fresh Direct, comes in.

The type of “man” who uses Blue Apron

Designed to make “cooking easy” by giving “men” of the Williamsburg demographic simple, gourmet (two words that don’t go together) recipes that are healthy and effortless to create–whatever that means (all good food should take a certain amount of effort), Blue Apron is one of the many deaths of dick. If you, as a “man” can’t cook, just own it. Don’t try to intensify your dicklessness by using a gimmick as smoke and mirrors to hide your defect. It would be the harder thing to do to admit your imperfection, but at least it would mean you’re capable of a hard-on.