While it is faintly admirable to try to make Williamsburg seem even remotely hood again (as it once was in the early 90s), there is obviously no hope of ever being able to do so, what with J. Crew and Urban Outfitters being part of the neighborhood now. Even so, this is exactly what London Rene, the “boy”friend of Mob Wives star Natalie Guercio, attempted to achieve by getting stabbed in the face with a box cutter at Output on Wythe and N. 12th.

Worst of all, and adding to the dicklessness, Rene was taken to Woodhull Hospital in the wake of the injury. It is perhaps one of the most undignified combinations with regard to a dickless Williamsburg occurrence to date. After all, it’s bad enough for a “man” to go somewhere like Output in the first place, but to get stabbed in addition (especially considering the relatively tame environs), well, it’s rather effete, isn’t it?