There’s a fine line between being so daftly macho that one can’t decorate and so annoyingly dainty and effete that one is too good at decorating. The in-between point of these two, however, generally tends to be a dickless “man” who half-asses his Christmas decorating attempts to the point of Marv-ing the situation with his doltish movements.

Is it really so difficult for a “man” to be able to decorate without a woman’s assistance while still falling faintly into the heterosexual category? Apparently so. Because every Christmas, the sound of “men” being electrocuted by Christmas lights or screams from stabbing themselves in the eye with various pine needles can be heard all along the East River.