Men Who Plan To Work At the Apple Store on Bedford Avenue.

Working at the Apple Store in any part of New York City already seriously calls into question one’s manhood, but to do it on Bedford Avenue is to willingly cede all traces of your dick. The strategic location of the store not only embeds the coffin of old Williamsburg deeper into the ground, but also infers you’re willing to subject yourself to retarded milfs who are never going to let you sleep with them.

A mock-up of the future Apple Store at 247 Bedford Avenue

A mock-up of the future Apple Store at 247 Bedford Avenue


Not only will you see stroller upon stroller attached to various Williamsburg women who will merely ask question after question until finally using their husband’s credit card to buy a new iPad, but you’ll also suffer from the blue balls of never penetrating their memories or their vaginas. Spare some of your dick by instead seeking employment at the nearby Bagelsmith. ‘Cause the drunk women who roll up in there are far more likely to give you the time of day.

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