In general, “men” who go to coffee tastings–or “cuppings”–are already sort of blowhards to begin with. But going to a tasting at a Williamsburg Starbucks really compounds the element of dicklessness. The latest Starbucks to creep into the area (there’s also one near Union Avenue) attempts, like Urban Outfitters before it, to appear as “Williamsburg” as possible with an open space and communal tables (more gag-worthy than trying to suck on a non-existent dick).

The first Starbucks in Wburg paved the way for this second, more douche baggy one

In “keeping with the spirit of the neighborhood,” the establishment has also bouged out with its plan to hold regular coffee tastings (what does that amount to, Pike Place and Blonde Roast ad nauseum?). The “men” who go to these tastings are inevitably sure to be missing a dick, as they’re more than likely looking to 1) troll or 2) show off their knowledge of coffee to other “men,” which is kind of gay. Fuck, it’s starting to make the Dunkin’ Donuts look more legit.