It’s a tough break having a November 12th birthday when you’re not Ryan Gosling, mainly because: you’re not Ryan Gosling, nor will you ever live up to him in large part due to your dickless ways. As a Scorpio, you’re already at a disadvantage. But as a Scorpio male who isn’t Ryan Gosling, it’s safe to assume you’re a sexual deviant with zero consideration for anyone but yourself.

This one in particular

When held up in the harsh light of a comparison to Ryan Gosling, no Williamsburg “man” born on November 12th stands a chance. Sure, you might dress in plaid shirts like him, be essentially mute like him, but you can never embody his essence of undeniable male virility combined with “being there” for a woman. Instead you’re just you, a regular dickless Scorpio.