In addition to most “men” taking it up the ass, they also seem to enjoy taking things too literally. Who knows if it stems from an education at Pratt or NYU? Whatever the reason, there is no room for abstraction with Williamsburg “men.” Short of saying, “I want a drink” and “I work at [insert low-paying, high-profile company here], you can’t verbalize much else in the way of natural conversation.

Because being figurative involves a hair more intelligence in that it requires actual imagination and interpretation, many “men” prefer to cloy to the comfortableness of apparentness (e.g. big tits, bleach blonde hair and the like). Then again, those that try too hard at the poetical representation of something tend to be called hipsters or, simply, pretentious. Yes, there is a fine line between being bro literal and hipster grandiloquent. But a “man” with a dick knows how to perfectly toe that line.