It’s not really clear to me why any “man” under the age of 65 would want to play bingo, but for some reason, Williamsburg is a big champion of the so-called game. Under the guise of parading it as a bar activity, bingo reigns supreme at places like Videology, Alligator Lounge and Pete’s Candy Store. For a “man” to willingly play this game is quite beyond me. Perhaps, in its own way, it makes him feel more dickful.

The symbolism of this game, in which a man tries to “hit the right spot” is all too glaring in terms of his inadequacies in the boudoir. If you can’t give a woman an O through oral or normal means (which is unlikely what with your dick missing and all), then of course you’re going to try to console yourself with the “free space” at the center of the bingo board. At least you can touch the right area somewhere, since you can’t seem to on a woman’s vajay.