With summer in full swing, it’s no great surprise that certain dickless parties are proudly sporting their chinos. As the evil twin of Chubbies (though of course they’re both evil), the chino look is characterized by bright colors and a markedly flat front that doesn’t do anything to help reassure people that you have some sort of bulge where your junk should be.

Williamsburg douche bag quotas must be fulfilled, I understand, but it would be nice to see a “man” wearing board shorts or even those weird European shorts that look more like pants because of how far past the knees they go. Then again, if you were a “man” with a fully operational genital unit, you wouldn’t wear shorts at all, no matter the weather.