If you’ve ever left your condo to go for a bike ride, you may be aware that the Williamsburg Bridge possesses a slight incline. It is one especially difficult to overcome if you’re a particularly out of shape sort of “man.” You know, one of the Toady variety.

Being that growing a beard and graphic designing can be very arduous in and of itself, sometimes Williamsburg “men” don’t have the opportunity to fully form their musculature. This results in the embarrassing and dickless decision to walk one’s bike up the bridge. But the next time you feel you can’t take it, and you simply must get off your, what I assume is a hipster brand bike like Bianchi, think about the possibility that your future fuck/wife is going to pass you by and automatically be repulsed by you.