Going on a picnic is already very dubious in the dick department. But adding another couple into the mix only serves to add an extra layer of eunuchness. What self-respecting man really says to himself–on a Sunday of all days–let me get some delicious sundries and cheeses from the Bedford Cheese Shop and take my pretend girlfriend, boyfriend and his pretend girlfriend on a picnic?
Then once you’ve moseyed on down to McCarren Park in your Chubbies, you make an even further spectacle of your dicklessness by spreading out a blanket bombastically with your boyfriend as your pretend girlfriends watch. It’s all just so demeaning. And the use of a cheese knife, well, I needn’t tell you that it’s a strong indicator of dick size. Either use a chef’s knife or none at all.