For those of you with a purer mind, “men” who don’t eat out does not refer to him going to a restaurant. It refers, of course, to him eating pussy. The “man” who makes excuses not to clearly has a fear of the vagina, the feminine essence and may possibly suffer from gynophobia–the least masculine thing ever.

Women know how to eat pussy–ergo they’re the ones with the real dicks.

Some Williamsburg “men” aren’t averse to it just because they have no idea how to operate the equipment down there, but also because they use the excuse of cleanliness/lack of waxing as a reason for avoiding the act. As any “man” worth his weight in dick will tell you, a full bush with a slight odor should never detract one from licking that pussy.

After all, aren’t women always willing to lick, suck and pull your sorry excuse for a penis? The least you can do is return the courtesy early and often. ‘Cause we all know you ain’t givin’ nobody an orgasm with that nub of yours, so you best use your goddamn mouth for something other than talking about your latest Apple product/how generally amazing you are.