Men Who Only Take Advice from Yelp

In Williamsburg, knowing the latest, most important bar or restaurant is paramount to your status as a human being. That’s why “men” like to refer religiously to Yelp for counsel on how to approach their existence. If something has less than four stars, fuck it, they’re not going.

To live and die by Yelp is one of the classic signs of being dickless. Is it really that difficult to choose a place to go based on your own impressions and opinions? Evidently, when you’re a denizen of Wburg. With quotes like “Almost never had a bad bite to eat here! I would caution, though, that the Black Bean Soup is pretty watery and bland,” it’s not only horrifying to note “men” who use Yelp’s overt missing of a dick, but also that one of their biggest problems in life is watery soup. Quelle fucking tragedy.

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